Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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