How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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