Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
