How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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