she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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