Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
