im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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