Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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