That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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