she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize