dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
