Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
