Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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