Im at strip club and am horny
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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