Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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