Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
