she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
