nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize