thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I pour the whiskey from now on
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