I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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