dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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