i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
