**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
