Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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