I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
