There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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