I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
