absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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