He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
