I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
