One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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