If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
