I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
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at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
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someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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