I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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