this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I need a beard to bite.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
