I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
