Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
