I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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