My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
