so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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