Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
