it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
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