Having a random hookup so left but love u
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
