I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
