Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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