you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
