it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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