I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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