she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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