who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
