I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
