Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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