Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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