i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
