Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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