We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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