**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
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I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
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Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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