we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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