weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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