Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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