he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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